Intoxicating
by violet gray
Summary: "I had so much to drink at the reception. I had the strangest nightmare that Santa Claus was trying to have his way with me." Niles and C.C. make their way home after Fran and Maxwell's wedding.
1. A Preface  The Wedding

**Author's note: I am but a humble newcomer, and have just moved (what an ordeal that was, oy) so am sans internet at home, but am slowly maing my way through your fabulous stories - reviews will be forthcoming, I swear. In the meantime here's another short piece featuring our dynamic duo.**

C.C. sat with her back to the table staring absently over the dance floor. She had been thinking.

She had also been drinking, but that didn't seem relevant.

She had been thinking that Maxwell and Nanny Fine looked happy, and that they looked alien. A million miles away from her.

She had been thinking that she had never really liked Maxwell, not in _that_ way. He lacked vision. He was a good businessman, but boy, he was _terrible_ at judging scripts and almost as bad at casting. He was slow when it came to people, never understanding what was going on around him. And more than all that, he was dull.

But despite the lack of any deep affection, she had always hoped they would end up together, because that's what happened in her world (which, she was shocked to realise was still her parent's world. She had never found her own place to fit in). It didn't matter if two people loved each other, or even if they liked each other, so long as they fit the mould.

C.C. knew, better than she knew anything, that in her parent's world Maxwell fit the "husband" mould to a T, and to marry someone like him would mean winning their approval.

That thought definitely called for another drink. Just as she was summoning the will to make her way to the bar and demand the pubescent boy hiding behind it just give her the damn bottle, Niles sat beside her holding two full glasses.


	2. Intoxicating

Niles pushed the door of the cab open with both hands. It swung out over the pavement quickly followed by his torso. He felt C.C.'s hands on his back and laughed loudly, she hadn't been able to grasp his jacket so it felt very much like she was trying to push him. This thought continued to amuse him until C.C. did get a hold of the fabric and tugged him abruptly backwards, successfully reintroducing him into the cab and nearly choking him. He shoved her away, rubbing his collar and giving the most pathetic cough he could muster - and it was C.C.'s turn to burst out laughing.

"Some butler you are, can't even work a door."

C.C. kicked his feet out of the cab and clinging tightly to each other, they finally emerged, much to the driver's relief. The moment the door shut he sped away quickly. He hadn't realised how drunk (or how unnervingly intense) the well-dressed couple were until they were already inside his cab; he'd been worried they'd begin vomiting or playing strange sex games before exiting.

The pair stood leaning against each other gazing with furrowed brows at the door of the Sheffield mansion.

"Keys." C.C. said, at last.

"Yes," Niles agreed. "But where?"

"Christ, you doddery old fool, you're plastered." C.C. shoved Niles' coat back and, still half leaning against him, plunged a hand into his pocket.

"Gently, Babs, I'm a delicate flower." he slurred, lifting his arms to give her easier access. C.C. groaned and circled behind him, throwing an arm over his shoulder for extra support. Finding her way into his right pocket she finally felt keys, but the force of her search plus her weight on his shoulder proved too much for Niles' delicacy, and his knees slowly crumpled.

"Woah!" he laughed. "We're going down!"

C.C. laughed too, their descent was taking such a long time but they seemed powerless to stop it. "It'll be easier to negotiate the lock from down there, anyway." She said, resting her head on Niles' shoulder.

"It is a tricky one," he agreed, at last landing on the ground. C.C. was half pressed against his back, her hand still in his pocket.

"Much fun as this might otherwise be, could you remove your hand from my trousers? At least while we're on the street."

With an elbow on his shoulder, C.C. roughly pulled her hand free and threw the keys at the door.

"Right, that oughta do it." Niles said sarcastically, rolling onto his hands and knees and crawling forward to retrieve them. Without his back to lean on C.C. flopped onto the steps, lying flat. Niles looked down at her with a gentle smile.

"Get a move on, maid. It's cold."

Far from dampening his good mood, C.C.'s words widened his smile. He picked up the keys and jabbed them at the lock, hitting the mark on only his sixth try.

Pulling themselves into the house and onto their feet they peered into the darkness. "Light." Niles said. "Door."

C.C. raised her eyebrows. "_You_ deal with them. I'm a _guest_."

"A guest?" Niles snorted, before it dawned on him that she _didn't_ live here. "Oh, right. Why didn't you go home?"

"Please, you wouldn't've made it two feet from the reception hall without my help."

"Help! I'm surprised the driver didn't dump us in the river, the trouble you were making." Niles cried, swinging the door shut with a bang.

"You were the one bellowing like a birthing cow. And still are, might I add." C.C. continued in what she imagined was a soft voice, motioning to the rest of the house.

Niles scowled, but held out the crook of his arm for her, so they might tackle the stairs together.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Arms still linked they stood in the doorway of the spare bedroom. Niles reached across C.C. to hit the light switch.

"Here you go." He said untangling their arms and pushing her in. She stumbled and sat abruptly on the bed.

"There're probably some pyjamas in the drawers. And there's water... in the tap." Niles said, waving his hand at the bathroom door.

"Well, shucks." C.C. said, pulling off one of her shoes and throwing it at him.

Niles chuckled. He stayed where he was watching as C.C. twisted free of her wrap and staggered over to the chest of drawers. She pulled at the top drawer with both hands and it landed with a thump on the floor. Happily, it contained a pair of burgundy pyjama's.

"Huzzah!" C.C. grinned at Niles.

She pulled them out then, looking over her shoulder, turned on the spot a few times.

"Need a hand unzipping?" Niles offered helpfully.

"I am quite capable, you old perv." C.C. said, throwing the pj's onto the bed and arching her back dramatically in an attempt to reach the zip. Niles folded his arms and leaned against the door frame, very much enjoying the show.

After quite a contortionist act, C.C. let out a triumphant "aha!" To Niles' surprise she pulled the zip down and let the dress fall to the floor in one smooth movement, then stepped out of it and towards him wearing only a white slip, underwear and an unbearably seductive smile, before shoving him into the hall and shutting the door.

"Bedtime now, butler." he heard her call.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Niles emerged from his bathroom having at last managed to get his pyjama's on the right way to find a disheveled C.C. sitting on his bed wearing a fire engine red dressing gown with a white woolen lining. She stood unsteadily.

"Santa?" he gasped, reaching out for a hug.

"Keep it in your pants, Rochester." C.C. said, batting his arms away. "This toy's only for nice boys."

"So you're here to punish me?" he attempted a wink but this proved too complicated. He settled instead for scrunching his nose and laughing.

"I can't get the last damn pin out of my damn hair." C.C. said, ignoring him and pointing to the mess at the back of her head. Although mostly loose her hair was sticking out in all directions and there was a long bobby pin visible in the midst of a particularly fearsome looking knot.

"Right. Well, I'm sure I have some scissors here somewhere."

C.C. rolled her eyes and gave him a shove. Both of them overbalanced and fell against the wall.

Straightening herself and trying not to laugh, C.C whispered loudly "Will you keep it quiet, you hulking oaf."

"You're one to talk. You know, it wasn't your robe that made me think of Santa Claus." Niles said, holding his hands over a round imaginary belly.

"That wasn't your attitude a moment ago." C.C. purred, managing to execute a terrific wink, much to Niles' annoyance.

In lieu of a clever response he grabbed roughly at the rogue pin. With a yelp of pain C.C.'s hands flew to her head, but she recovered quickly and retaliated, yanking a tuft of Niles' hair. He ducked and laughed holding his hands out in surrender. C.C. tried to narrow her eyes in a suspicious, aloof manner but her wide grin somewhat spoilt the effect.

Smiling in return Niles guided her into a chair and began untangling the pin, taking the time to be gentle. And to revel in the scent of her shampoo.

After a number of deep breaths, he extracted the offending item and held it out to her.

"Thank you." C.C. sighed, running her fingers through her hair then wincing after hitting a knot almost immediately. Well, she'd deal with that in the morning.

"Up." she said, grabbing Niles arm to pull herself to her feet. "God, I must be drunk, I can't feel my fingers properly."

Niles brushed his fingers over hers. "Really? Fingers? It's my mouth Ican't feel." He spoke slowly, opening his jaw widely with each syllable. He started humming and slapping his mouth. "Can you feel that?"

C.C. watched Niles' mouth carefully, then, when he stopped talking, pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

They stared at each other in surprise for a long moment before Niles laughed. "You're not supposed to do that! I thought we had a rhythm to maintain."

"Sorry." C.C. said absently, still staring at him. She was thinking that perhaps she did have a place to fit in, perhaps she'd had a place for a long time. Then Niles kissed her.

This was a softer, more insistent kiss. He pulled her closer and pushed his fingers into her tangled hair.

C.C.'s muffled "Ow." reverberated inside Niles' mouth. He grinned as she pulled off his dressing gown and shoved him against the wall. This was going to be fun.


End file.
